December 16, 2009
Historical Background of today's blog:
Many years ago when Carl and I were raising our children, our ward (probably KW2) had an amazing Relief Society president. Her name was Linda Hoffman. Below is her money-making sweetroll recipe which she disclosed as she was moving from the area. Beyond that, she set up parenting classes for the young mothers and couples in the ward. Sort of an early version of Relief Society Enrichment activities. Each course lasted about 12 weeks and were held for about 20 people at a time. Carl and I participated in one of the courses. One of the extra books used in the course was one titled: "Helping Your Child Learn Right from Wrong…A Guide to Values Clarification" by Sidney B. Simon and Sally Wedkos Olds. I held onto the book for years and years referring back to it occasionally. One of the things I liked in the book was the concept of how we grow into owning a value until it is our "rooftop shout." This was also the "Covey" era where many of us were writing personal and family mission statements and buying dayplanners that drove how we spent our time on values rather than deadlines. This is also the time when the "Truth Model" began to take shape for me personally.
About a month ago, the family was engaged in conversation when I realized each of us have different "rooftop shouts." I wanted to understand what they each were, how the family member got there, and evaluate whether I should be joining them. I went hunting for this book. Unfortunately, I had just "dejunked" (one of my values) and given it away. But I now have a new-to-me, used copy and wanted to share with you some of its ideas over the next little bit.
"Helping Your Child Learn Right From Wrong..
Cpt 1: Who Needs Values?
Amy, 6, often visits old Mrs. Maloney down the street, who always has home-baked cookies for her. On Halloween, her older cousin, Brad, whom Amy adores, asks her to tell him where the old woman lives. Brad says he want to go trick-or-treating to her house, but Amy thinks he wants to play a trick on her. Should she give Brad Mrs. Maloney's address?
Charlie, 8, has just been invited to join a club make up of boys he has been wanting to be friends with. When he asks whether his best friend, David, can be included, the club leaders tell him that they would ask David if he didn't smell so bad. What should Charlie do?
Ellie, 11, knows that her friend Florrie stole a record from the school's music room. Florrie's parents cannot afford to buy the record and she wants to practice playing her flute with it so she can play in the school concert. Ellen hears that a bully who terrorized the younger children is being blamed for the theft. Should she speak up? To Whom?
Children face conflicts like these every day. Day in and day out, children have to make decisions on the kinds of issues that have engaged the minds of the world's greatest philosophers. But too many children (and adults as well) do not know that to do or how to think when faced by a values conflict. They have no way of evaluating different values systems. They may have superficially absorbed what they have heard from their parents, but they have not built an underlying structure of values to base their actions on. Such children are not sure what life is all about, what the purpose is for their own lives, and what is worth trying to achieve. What are these children like?
Gerry is apathetic. She goes along taking the path of least resistance, since she feels that no value is better than any other.
Harry jumps from one belief to another. On Monday he believes one thing, on Tuesday the opposite; he has no strong anchor in his life.
Irene agonizes over every decision. No matter what she decides, she is sure it is wrong, because she has no firm ground on which to base her decisions.
Jackie is always "in Rome, doing as the Romans." He goes along with his companions in any activity they suggest, from singing in the church choir to shoplifting.
Kate can't agree with anyone. Since she can always find some argument against any value, she is always ready to argue with whatever anyone else believes in; her only value is the opposite from whomever she is with at the moment.
Lawrence is always playing a role. One day he is Honesty personified; the next day, he will do anything to "take care of Number One."
Why is this? Why aren't these children's parents teaching them right from wrong? Giving them guidelines for life? Parents try. Parents have always tried. But what was once relatively clear is now impossibly murky. Which values should we live by? Cooperation and concern for others are good—but so are independent initiative and enlightened self-interest. All of us recognize some absolute values—yet my list of absolute values differs from my neighbor's.
Even when we believe in something, we are not always sure of how to act upon those beliefs. Even when we are sure of our own values, we cannot isolate our children from the rest of the world. Their lives inevitably become more complex as they encounter other people, different experiences, and new ideas. They think. They change. They grow. They begin to question parental values. And we adults questions our own values.
Since values are constantly changing, the intelligent person is likely to change attitudes and opinions many times in the course of a lifetime. If we teach children our present values, what do we do two, five, or eight years from now when we hold other values? Say that we taught them false values, that they must now throw them out and learn new ones? No, we cannot.
But we can give them something better. We can give them a system that they can use to arrive at their own values. Even young children can apply this system to their everyday lives. Amy can use it to help her decide whether she should tell her cousin where Mrs. Maloney lives. Charlie can use it to decide whether or not to accept the club's invitation, and what to say to David. Ellen can use it to decide whether to speak to Florrie, to go to the school principal—or to do nothing. This system is what this book is all about."
Sweet Rolls (from Linda Hoffman)
2 tsp. Salt
1/2 cup potato flakes
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup powdered milk
Combine the above.
Drop in 1 stick margarine. Add 3 cups hot water.
Combine until margarine is melted.
Add 4 cups white flour.
Beat until very elastic, about 4-5 minutes in mixer.
Add, 2 eggs. Beat in.
Add 2 scant Tbls. Instant yeast.
Beat until yeast is well blended.
Add about 3 cups white flour (add last cup, part at a time. Dough is very soft. Almost sticky, but if lightly tapped will not stick to the end of a finger.
Cover canvas board with 1/2 cup flour. Dump dough on canvas. Cover all sides of dough with flour. Clean and grease mixing bowl. Dump back into bowl, cover, and allow to raise about 1 hour until tripled in size.
Dump dough back onto floured canvas. Divide into 4 sections. Roll out one at a time to rectangle about 10 inches by 6 inches. Melt 1/2 cup margarine. Combine 1 cup sugar and 2 Tbls. Cinnamon. Spread butter and cinnamon sugar on dough. Roll and cut for sweat rolls. Place on greased pan and allow to raise about 1 hour.
Bake at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes.
Icing: 1 stick butter, 1 lb. Powdered sugar, 1/4 cup milk, 1 tsp. Vanilla
Ice while warm.